423) Three Ways to Handle Anger

Three Ways to Handle Anger

Anger is very human. It’s an emotion. So, becoming angry is not a failing. Not dealing with it is, however. Dr. John Schinnerer, host of The Evolved Caveman podcast, shares three simple tips for dealing with anger when you feel it rising up inside you.

One: Name it. Studies have shown that simply putting an emotional label on what you are feeling serves to reduce the intensity of that feeling.

Two: Identify what’s underneath. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling beneath the anger?” Most times, there is an emotion preceding your anger, often on the heels of embarrassment, nervousness, sadness or hurt.

Three: Be appropriately assertive. Schinnerer shares that assertiveness lies midway on the scale between being a doormat and being aggressive. Assertiveness requires that you know what you need and speaking up. 

The happiest and most successful relationships (personal or professional) involve those who can effectively deal with feelings of anger. Become one of those people.


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289) Pounding Nails In and Out

Pounding Nails In and Out

Michael Josephson on his website Character Counts shared a parable about an angry nine-year-old boy who was unable to control his cruel outbursts. To help him learn self-control, his grandfather made him pound a two-inch-long nail into a four-by-four board every time he said something mean.

This was a major task for the small boy. He started to become more cautious with his words and even started to apologize for his outbursts.

Then the grandfather instructed him to pull all nails out. This was even harder than pounding them in. With that, the grandfather told the boy, “I appreciate and accept your apology, but I want you to know an apology is like pulling out these nails. Look at the board. The holes are still there. The board will never be the same.”

You need to be careful with what you say. While you can certainly apologize for angry outbursts, your harsh words can have a lasting impact.


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