one thing you can be sure, everyone wants to be liked. It’s an innate desire
that’s as old as recorded time.
people want to associate with those who like them. In fact, they want to
surround themselves with those that simply delight in who they are and to
achieve that they subconsciously return the feeling. So, here’s the lesson: If
you want to build your network far and wide with people who like you, make a
point of finding ways to like others.
everyone you encounter, take a quick survey of their interpersonal
characteristics. While they may not be perfect (as none of us are), no doubt
there is something about them that makes you declare “I like this person.”
it is, seize upon that one thing and focus on it. Your affection for them will
grow and that will come through as you interact. And then, they will grow to
like you in return.
start of any relationship begins with getting to know someone. This process
involves a completely un-orchestrated volley of asking questions, listening,
and asking more questions.
this is important to developing solid networking relationships, you should not endeavor
to get any more information than they are willing to give. The extent to which
others let themselves be known is personal to them. Some things they freely
share. On other things, they are a tad more guarded. Respect those boundaries.
Don’t press. Don’t pry.
great relationships involve showing that you’re interested in knowing others.
But great relationships also involve others liking and trusting you. So, when
you sense you’ve overstepped your bounds, back off and casually take your inquiry
in another direction.
you do, you’ll continue to learn about them and at the same time quietly build
the extent to which they like and trust you.
would you conduct yourself if a million dollars were hanging in the balance? In
other words, if you knew that a contact or business encounter would lead to a
seven-figure payday, how would you act? What would you say? Who would you be?
certainly be professional and on time. You would be attentive, courteous, and
reverent. In short, you’d put forth the very best version of yourself.
what? In every moment of every day and with every encounter, a million dollars
is hanging in the balance. It’s true. That meeting with the new client? Absolutely.
The vendor making a delivery? You bet. That “cold” call that interrupts your
see, with every encounter you’re dealing with at least one other. And that “one
other” knows countless more. Over time, this builds to a very real potential of
a seven-figure payday. So, act accordingly. A millions dollars is hanging in
Romanelli, boys’ soccer coach for the seven-time state champion St. Francis
DeSales high school, drills this notion into his players: “Tomorrow is Never
encourages them to set lofty goals and work hard to achieve them. But then he
reminds them that no matter what, nothing is for sure.
They might be better prepared, but a bad stretch could turn the whole game.
They might have the better team, but a fluke goal could end the season.
They might be incredibly fit and yet an unfortunate misstep could end a career.
is never promised. But this mantra is not limited to the soccer pitch.
life, there are no guarantees either. Have hopes, dreams and aspirations and
work tirelessly to achieve them. However, always remember that sometimes fate
has its own plan and that there is always the potential for outside forces to
intervene. Tomorrow is never promised.
Frank Agin, founder and president of AmSpirit Business Connections and host of Networking Rx, interviews Rob Thomas, author of Who Do You Need To Meet? Together they discuss the important aspects of building and growing a network.
Why Is There An Apprehension Towards “Small Talk”?
For many, the thought of engaging in
“small talk” can make them anxious. It comes down to one thing – FEAR. Fear of
being rejected. Fear of having nothing to contribute. Fear of getting stumped
(or running out of conversation). Fear of getting stuck in a conversation with,
well, that stranger that Mom warned you about.
FEAR NOT! The strangers your mother warned
you about are no longer interested. You have things to contribute and with a
little planning and practice you will never get stumped (and if you do, there
is a way out).
As for rejection, know this: Everyone has this fear. EVERYONE. Even the most well connected, confident person will tell you that deep down inside, they have this apprehension. If everyone has this fear, then everyone will welcome you coming up and jumping into conversation with them.
So make someone’s day. Engage in some
“small talk” with them.
Frank Agin, founder and president of AmSpirit Business Connections and host of Networking Rx, reviews an assessment on caring from Matt Ward, speaker, author and founder of Breakthrough Champion (@breakthruchamp). The assess is available at https://mattward1.typeform.com/to/GIsvkW
preparing for an upcoming fight, legendary heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson was
asked what he thought of the strategy his challenger was boasting about.
Without much elaboration, the defending champion responded, “Everyone has a
plan until he gets punched in the face.”
short, Tyson was reminding everyone that no matter how much his opponents
plotted and schemed, he would have a say as to how the strategy was to unfold.
he is right, both inside and outside the boxing ring.
strategizing is imperative. All successful people do it. But successful people
know that strategies are formed in a vacuum. And once exposed to outside forces
or unforeseen circumstances, every strategy is put to the test.
So, beyond the initial
strategy, successful people contemplate contingencies. Because no matter how
much effort goes into a strategy, they may just need those contingencies when
reality steps forward and punches it in the face.
Speaker, super-connector and social architect Adam Connors has coined a term … NetworkWise.
What does it mean? Adam will tell you that it’s a verb that means “taking a proactive approach to relationship development with the ultimate goal of benefiting another individual.”
And he will elaborate by explaining that the term
NetworkWise is about “establishing value by always welcoming the opportunity to
collaborate through conversation, as well as cultivating a mindset that is
immersed in learning the science and art of networking.”
He will further share that NetworkWise is about
viewing networking “as a habit and skill that needs to be exercised or it will atrophy.”
And finally, Adam Connors will summarize that NetworkWise is about continually interacting with and benefiting those around you and not just when you might need something. This is the best way to establish essential connections, gain influence and create overall personal fulfillment.
Frank Agin, founder and president of AmSpirit Business Connections and host of Networking Rx, interviews Michael Goldberg (@MEGoldberg), author of Knock-Out Networking. Together they talk about using networking to get more prospects, more referrals and more business.