In her book Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg encourages that in seeking to help others you should avoid making blanket offers like:
“If there is anything I can do for you, let me know.” OR, “What can I do for you?”
This is especially true when the person you’re looking to help is dealing with hardship or tragedy. While well intended, these open gestures add to the person’s burden, as it puts the onus on them to think of something you can do (and in times of adversity they don’t need one more thing to think about or one more decision to make).
Rather, your efforts will be more appreciated if you go with something like:
“Would it be helpful if I did THIS for you?” OR “I’m going to do THIS for you. If that’s a problem, or if something else is more pressing, let me know. Otherwise, consider THIS done.”
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