When you introduce yourself, it should obviously address the notion of “who you are.” There is, however, no magic to stating this portion of a basic Introduction. After all, it is … well … basic. Nevertheless, this part of your introduction is important.
In this portion of your introduction you need to clearly articulate your name. And it’s best to lead with how you’d like to be addressed. For example, is it Mike or Michael … Kim or Kimberly? Then clearly state your title and the work you are associated with. Each of these is important.
Now, nothing says it has to be in this precise order … You could achieve the same thing by re-stating the example “Through my business, Breakthrough Champion, I help service-based businesses get more referrals … I am Matt Ward” Or “I am with Breakthrough Champion. My name is Matt Ward and I help service-based businesses get more referrals.”
While there is no magic, be prepared to clearly state “who you are.”
This is tough to do, but it is important if you want to succeed at, really, anything, but certainly in building relationships. What is it? Take a hard look at yourself and look for things to improve.
Sure, it is easy to look around and identify the shortcomings of others. But your success will come from fixing your own shortcomings. So, honestly answer questions like these.
How consistently do you conduct yourself in a confident, pleasant manner?
How much value do you really add to the world around you?
To what extent are you considered reliable by others?
Like the fabled magical mirror in Snow White, the answers you get in this self-examination may not be what you hoped for. But even if they’re not, you now have some ideas as to how you can improve. And with this insight, you can commit to fixing your deficiencies which will greatly enhance your chances at success.
Anger is very human. It’s an emotion. So, becoming angry is not a failing. Not dealing with it is, however. Dr. John Schinnerer, host of The Evolved Caveman podcast, shares three simple tips for dealing with anger when you feel it rising up inside you.
One: Name it. Studies have shown that simply putting an emotional label on what you are feeling serves to reduce the intensity of that feeling.
Two: Identify what’s underneath. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling beneath the anger?” Most times, there is an emotion preceding your anger, often on the heels of embarrassment, nervousness, sadness or hurt.
Three: Be appropriately assertive. Schinnerer shares that assertiveness lies midway on the scale between being a doormat and being aggressive. Assertiveness requires that you know what you need and speaking up.
The happiest and most successful relationships (personal or professional) involve those who can effectively deal with feelings of anger. Become one of those people.
A great way of building relationships is giving to others. However, when people hear the term “giving to others,” they tend to conjure up images of dragging out their wallets. That is not the case at all. In reality, giving to others is about adding value and you can do that in many different ways.
For example, you can do business with them, send them referrals, provide them useful information, spur them on, celebrate their successes, introduce them to strategic contacts or just lend a friendly ear.
Each of these things adds value. And when you add value to others, they cannot help but feel they know you, like you, and trust you. This builds the relationship.
And in addition, when you add value to them, somehow they are quietly compelled to return the deed at some point in time, likely when you need it most.
Here’s a question. One you should have an answer for. Despite that, it’s a question for which you’ll always be looking for a solution. The question is this: “How do you make this better?”
What is the “this” you’re trying to improve? It could be your job. It could be a business. It could be an organization. It could be a relationship. It could just be your life in general. How do you make it better?
There is an answer. Think on it. There is a way to improve things. There is. There always is. It might be something big. It might be something small. Whatever it is, find it. And then act. See through whatever you can to upgrade the situation.
Know this, however: No matter the improvement, there is still room to progress. Nothing is ever perfect. When you get to this point, again ask: How do I make this better?
In Michael Maher’s January 2020 Weekly Words of Wisdom Newsletter, the author and referral consultant shares: “You may think a situation is impossible, a person is impossible to deal with, or a goal too high. Remember the word itself says I’m Possible. A simple apostrophe and space changes everything and that is so true in life.”
As Maher implies, there is no real “impossible,” but just a mindset issue. A small tweak in thought and you’re on your way to conquering what you might not have thought possible.
But it starts with you and your line of thinking. The situation, the person, the goal won’t change until how you think about it does.
So, ask yourself, what could I do differently? How can I think about the situation differently? What are some things I have not considered? Who could I reach out to for some guidance?
In summary, as Maher challenges in his newsletter, “What will make your impossible, possible?”
In life, no one is undefeated. Every sports team has endured a loss. Every notable achiever can point to a disappointing stretch on the road to greatness. Every relationship, no matter how wonderful it might be, has endured a rocky patch or two.
Your life is no different. While you hope to have a career, business or life that continually trends upward, just like the stock market, occasionally you need to give back some gains.
When these moments hit, take solace in the fact that everyone has these moments. Everyone! So, don’t be afraid to acknowledge your failings. Don’t shy away from admitting that you could have done better.
In short, have the courage to fail. And do so with a degree of humility and a resolve to improve from the experience. In the end, this candor will draw others to you, making you more connected and better equipped to move forward on your journey of success.
There is little question when you express your appreciation to someone, you make them feel good. But do you know who really benefits from this simple communication? You!
In October 2016, self-proclaimed neuroscience geek Melissa Hughes shared in an article entitled, What Happens Inside A Grateful Brain? that “A genuine expression of gratitude to someone else gives your brain a bigger reward than the person you thank!”
Hughes explained that when you make this expression of gratitude to someone, your body releases a neurotransmitter called oxytocin. This little mind drug makes you feel warm and fuzzy, as oxytocin is known to enhance your feelings of trust, empathy and affection.
In short, when you go out of your way to tell someone that you really appreciate something about them or their effort, you’re the one who benefits most. With that insight, drop whatever you’re doing and find someone to thank. Your brain will give you a little something for the effort.
Best-selling author and personal development specialist Lewis Howes shared on Twitter, “Stop being jealous of people in their winning season. You don’t know what they lost in their losing season.”
Howes’ tweet is impactful. It can be easy to become envious (almost jealous) of the achievements of others. Whether it’s a promotion at work, accolades for a business or even a social media post that seems to have inexplicable popularity.
But you need to remind yourself that that those wonderful, notable moments never tell the full story. You might have forgotten about the failures or setbacks, if you knew of them at all. You’re not privy to the heartache or seemingly endless toil that led to that one glorious instance.
As Howes implies, be happy for the victories of others. They’ve earned them. Moreover, it should serve as a beacon of hope that it’s possible for you to achieve the same thing too.
To a degree, being successful requires that you dig into whatever you do and become a master of your craft. After all, we live in an increasingly specialized world where serving a niche well is imperative.
With that mindset, it can be easy to get holed up in a niche-driven silo – whether your office or another workplace – busily doing what you do. Serving clients. Wooing prospects. And learning how to become better at each of those things. Don’t do the easy thing.
Yes, doing what you do will bring success. But that success will eventually plateau and begin to wane. Growth and lasting success come from outside your niche-driven silo. It’s there where you’ll meet wonderful new people and reconnect with colleagues and friends. It’s there where you’ll find groundbreaking new opportunities and fresh ideas.
Yes, dig into your craft and hunker down to serve your clients well. But remember to build into your week time to get out of your silo.